Innocence
by Death Rider
Summary: fifth and final part in the series. Sequel to 'Bring Me to Life'.Jak contemplates the end of the war and the changes the last two years have brought.


_I still remember the world_

_From the eyes of a child_

_Slowly those feelings_

_Were clouded by what I know now_

It so quiet now

the celebration had lasted so long

once the bodies of the dead had been cleaned up of course

I didn't get to see it

but there is noticeably fewer people on the street now

I overheard someone talking about three-fourths of their population being gone

No instead I got to lie unconscious in a hospital for four days

taking on a metal head nest will do that to you

there isn't a part of me that still doesn't hurt

So why the hell did I hall my ass way the hell out here?

'cause I can't shake the feeling somethings seriously wrong

Samos says it's just that I'm not used to the peace yet.

bullshit

I know what he's thinking

Dark Eco

_  
Where has my heart gone_

_An uneven trade for the real world_

_Oh I... I want to go back to_

_Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all_

_  
t_he thought makes me slump further against a tree outside the walls

Dark isn't help the situation but for once we're completely in agreement

something.

is.

wrong.

yeah so we won the war...

Kor gone, praxis gone

E-erol too...

what I am I supposed to do now?

Everyone that I hated is dead

my revenge is complete right?

so why do I feel cheated?

By some twist of fate I was indirectly responsible for Erol's demise

A quick dive into dark eco barrels instead of the long and bloody death I had fantasized

I missed Praxis completely and got Kor instead

that proves that I was strong enough, right?

Praxis always relied on his weapons to bail him

that's why he died

no hunk of technology to bail him out

So I fulfilled my purpose to didn't I.

I did what Praxis designed me to

even so close to death he didn't let me forget

Its not like I would anyway

Its all I know now

with everyone gone there's nothing left for me to focus on

_  
I still remember the sun_

_Always warm on my back_

_Somehow it seems colder now_

no more underground missions

no more slinking around the back alleys for Krew

what the hell am I supposed to do...

can I help rebuild the city that's caused me so much pain?

I don't think I could handle that

Torn was telling me about a division in the new freedom Gard that they're working on that would be perfect for me

I walked out of the room

how the hell can he expect me to work with men that faithfully followed Praxis and Erol

I couldn't do it

because when it comes down to it their KG with a different color.

So never will I work as one of them

If they say that's treason they can kiss my ass

I hate this city anyway

Why would he even suggest something like that?

I followed Torn and Krew as a means to and end

nothing more

Just 'cause I played with light doesn't mean I'll march like a good little soldier boy.

_  
Where has my heart gone_

_Trapped in the eyes of a stranger_

_Oh I... I want to go back to_

_Believing in everything_

I don't think I can do this.

not when there's this lingering doubt in my mind

let the others think their safe

I'm not letting my guard down

Keep sharp, stay strong

I'll protect the few that I still care about

Daxter, Sig, Tess, Keria, and

Torn...

yes, that is my new conviction.

while the others grow weak in their compliancy

I'll be ready

because, no matter what they believe...

something is coming

_  
Iesu, Rex admirabilis_

_Et triumphator nobilis,_

_Dulcedo ineffabilis,_

_Totus desiderabilis._

_  
Where has my heart gone_

_An uneven trade for the real world_

_Oh I... I want to go back to_

_Believing in everything_

_Oh, Where_

Leaning back, jak finally relaxed with a sigh. Two years, five months, and thirteen days of stress, anxiety, heartbreak, and anguish was laid out before him in simple text. By Torn's suggestion, he'd sat down and actually wrote his feelings down. Some therapeutic technique or whatever. But he had to admit, he felt better. that didn't mean he was one hundred percent now, he probably never would be. He couldn't go back to how he used to be, couldn't even pinpoint when that change from that boy he was to the person he'd become. No, no going back, but he could go forward. May be someday he'd actually be able to talk about it. He'd love to be able to open up all the way to Torn.

With a final sigh Jak opened his hands and let the wind tugging at the pages fly the past away.

_  
Where has my heart gone_

_Trapped in the eyes of a stranger_

_Oh I... I want to go back to_

_Believing in everything_

_  
I still remember._

* * *

Finally it's finished. while the first four came relatively easy to me. the final piece fought me tooth and nail. it got to the point where I had to walk away for a while. Finally I realized what it was trying to tell me. this wasn't just another chapter, it was the final chapter. the story was ready for it's final message. as you can see Jak's not healed, not everything is perfect. He still has a long road ahead of him before he can come to terms with his past. But he's ready to take the first true steps forward and he's not alone in this path.

to the Imaginary saga, I bid you

adieu


End file.
